“Sorry, I’m going to be late.” “She is running about 45 minutes behind schedule”. I caught myself just in time, not once, but on multiple occasions last week, and as I received these messages, instead of reacting, I chose a different path.
In two instances, people forgot that they had a meeting with me. “Hi, I have logged into the call… will you be joining?” Apologies (genuine ones) followed, and there were circumstances that led to these no-shows.
Reflecting on these delayed arrivals and cancelled rendezvous and how I reacted, I want to give myself a pat on the back. In each instance, I did feel a bit upset, frustrated, or anxious, and even a hint of anger showed itself, and once I acknowledged that feeling, I was able to pause and ask myself, “How do I want to respond?” This momentary delay in how I navigated others’ delays made all the difference.
This led me to take actions that made good use of the time that suddenly opened up. A tip I picked up from the book ‘Thank you for being late’ by Thomas Friedman, which I am happy to report, I was able to put into practice.
This kept me away from the slippery slope of triggered reactions that used to sound like “How dare they….” ; “If I don’t send a strong message, I will be taken for granted” ; “This is so unprofessional…” and a host of other judgments about myself and others (that invariably are unfounded) and imagined meanings I give to situations that don’t always reflect the reality.
Accepting that I have suddenly been given the gift of some precious time for myself and figuring out how I want to use it, is a much better way to handle delays and no-shows.
I spent time researching a topic and finished a pending presentation.
I spoke to a friend whom I had been meaning to call for a while.
I paused during a busy day and meditated.
Most importantly, I nurtured many of those relationships with people who were delayed or had to cancel a meeting with me.
The universe sent me a message that tells me this approach is the right one. “Some people make the world shine brighter. Thank you for making our day lighter.” I got this lovely little note from a Barista at a Starbucks on Chapel Road Mumbai. A resting place that I chose when I had an unexpected delay to navigate.
This tiny little note, handed to me by a stranger, whose name I now know is Rishi, brought a smile to my life. It made my day just a little bit better, and I hope I was able to do the same for a few others. It gave me my lesson for the week, one that I will hold onto for hopefully many weeks to come.
Tread lightly, take a deep breath, embrace each moment, and when the time is right, the meeting will happen. Or maybe it won’t, and that’s okay too. Slow it all down. Listen. Trust the universe.
Is someone you’re meeting delayed? Choose your action instead of a triggered reaction. A delayed reaction shifts it into a response. Respond to the world, don’t react. Make someone’s day lighter, and yours will become brighter.
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